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ID Number: 1539
From: aj_0999 <>
Subject: Re: Topic for discussion
Date: Friday, March 03 2006 - 17:29:30

That's a little off-topic, but personally, I'm not that superficial.
I'd like to think I'm beyond falling into those traps.

I think what the issue I was addressing comes down to is people who
have been hurt in the past getting into a vicious cycle of hurting
each other in the present, for no good reason. The older you get, the
more of a past you have, and the easier it gets to transfer a lot of
negative feelings you got from other people onto somebody else. I
think it's especially true when the people involved are very similar
human beings, both of whom are very stubborn and strong-willed, and
have a hard time admitting when they're wrong.

In other words, there is a strong temptation to punish somebody who's
innocent for something somebody else did to you in the past, and it
can go both ways. Of course, there are some people who are just
totally self-centered, and only value other people in terms of "what's
in it for me". The thing I may not have figured out yet is how to tell
the difference.

--- In, "Raymond" <raymond756@...> wrote:
> Let's change the question a bit.
> Why do nice guys want those girls? Why don't the guys go after the
> women that want them?
> Some of my thoughts, you are welcome to share yours. You are also
> welcome to comment on mine.
> The women are - (more)
> desirable
> different
> exciting
> popular
> pretty
> unattainable
> For fame and/or publicity - "Look at me"
> Make a fantasy come true.
> Maybe as a distraction for a while from the rest of your life.
> Maybe you think that you are saving her from him and/or herself - "I'm
> her savior"
> Maybe you are friends, or friendly, and she comes to you with help
> after a bad relationship.
> To see if you can - as a challenge - and/or as a dare - "I did it"
> You are bored.
> You just want to have some fun for a short time.
> Now for some more questions. And possibly the questions are answers
> in themselves.
> How well you do you know her? Is only what you know about her what
> you see and what other people told you about her? If so, would you be
> disillusioned/disappointed by what she is really like and still want a
> relationship with her? fantasy vrs. reality?
> Now suppose she did say "yes"? She said "I'm yours and only yours" -
> and she says this before she is sick of other men.
> Would you get "sick of her" after a while just like she "got sick of
> other men"?
> Is what she is what you are looking for?
> How compatible are you both?
> Would she, and you, be happy in a lasting relationship?
> She is different - personality, what she likes, what she wants to do,
> how she does things, what she cares about.
> Do you want to change, do you want her to change, or to become more
> like each other?
> Maybe you don't really want her, maybe you just think that you want
> her since she is different, you may feel that she "completes you"
> because she is what you are not.
> (for some reason this reminds me of Shel Silverstein's Missing Piece,
> which reminds me of The Big O, which reminds me of Roger Smith, which
> reminds me of Dorothy, which reminds me that I want to go home but I
> have to stop and get some new shoes before I do - but now I am
> starting to ramble so I will stop now. Not this message, just the
> rambling.)
> "Stonn, she is yours. After a time, you may find having is not so
> pleasing a thing after all as wanting. It is not logical -- but it is
> often true."
> --Spock - Amok Time
> Or maybe it was just a Slow Tuesday Night (Basil Bagelbaker).
> Of course this is all just my opinion, I could be wrong.
> You are welcome to express yours.
> Right now, I bored.
> My Sig

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