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ID Number: 1547
From: aj_0999 <no_reply@yahoogroups.com>
Subject: Re: Topic for discussion
Date: Monday, March 06 2006 - 18:44:54

Don't worry about it...I'm pretty confused myself at this point. I
think the hardest thing sometimes is forgiveness, but it's probably
the most important.

--- In lisamarie@yahoogroups.com, "Raymond" <raymond756@...> wrote:
>
> > I think it's especially true when the people involved are very similar
> > human beings, both of whom are very stubborn and strong-willed, and
> > have a hard time admitting when they're wrong.
> >
> I confused.
> To me is sounds like you are saying that they are both wrong and they
> both know it, and both are unwilling to admit it?
> Is that right? And if it is, is that what you think, or is that what
> they think?
>
>
> > to punish somebody who's innocent
> >
> How do they punish them?
>
>
> > The thing I may not have figured out yet is how to tell the
difference.
> >
> The self-centered person will take advantage of you.
> The other person feels that you will take advantage of them.
> Both of them want everything done for me without them doing anything
> for you. Both feel it is owed to them.
> How to tell the difference, can't help you there.
> Either way if you know this, then why are you staying in that
> relationship?
>
>
> Of course this is just my opinion. I could be wrong.
>
> My Sig
> http://www.danasoft.com/sig/45042.jpg
>
>
> --- In lisamarie@yahoogroups.com, aj_0999 <no_reply@> wrote:
> >
> > That's a little off-topic, but personally, I'm not that superficial.
> > I'd like to think I'm beyond falling into those traps.
> >
> > I think what the issue I was addressing comes down to is people who
> > have been hurt in the past getting into a vicious cycle of hurting
> > each other in the present, for no good reason. The older you get, the
> > more of a past you have, and the easier it gets to transfer a lot of
> > negative feelings you got from other people onto somebody else. I
> > think it's especially true when the people involved are very similar
> > human beings, both of whom are very stubborn and strong-willed, and
> > have a hard time admitting when they're wrong.
> >
> > In other words, there is a strong temptation to punish somebody who's
> > innocent for something somebody else did to you in the past, and it
> > can go both ways. Of course, there are some people who are just
> > totally self-centered, and only value other people in terms of "what's
> > in it for me". The thing I may not have figured out yet is how to tell
> > the difference.
> >
> > --- In lisamarie@yahoogroups.com, "Raymond" <raymond756@> wrote:
> > >
> > > Let's change the question a bit.
> > > Why do nice guys want those girls? Why don't the guys go after the
> > > women that want them?
> > >
> > > Some of my thoughts, you are welcome to share yours. You are also
> > > welcome to comment on mine.
> > >
> > > The women are - (more)
> > > desirable
> > > different
> > > exciting
> > > popular
> > > pretty
> > > unattainable
> > >
> > >
> > > For fame and/or publicity - "Look at me"
> > > Make a fantasy come true.
> > > Maybe as a distraction for a while from the rest of your life.
> > > Maybe you think that you are saving her from him and/or herself
- "I'm
> > > her savior"
> > > Maybe you are friends, or friendly, and she comes to you with help
> > > after a bad relationship.
> > > To see if you can - as a challenge - and/or as a dare - "I did it"
> > > You are bored.
> > > You just want to have some fun for a short time.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Now for some more questions. And possibly the questions are answers
> > > in themselves.
> > >
> > > How well you do you know her? Is only what you know about her what
> > > you see and what other people told you about her? If so, would
you be
> > > disillusioned/disappointed by what she is really like and still
want a
> > > relationship with her? fantasy vrs. reality?
> > >
> > > Now suppose she did say "yes"? She said "I'm yours and only yours" -
> > > and she says this before she is sick of other men.
> > > Would you get "sick of her" after a while just like she "got sick of
> > > other men"?
> > > Is what she is what you are looking for?
> > > How compatible are you both?
> > > Would she, and you, be happy in a lasting relationship?
> > > She is different - personality, what she likes, what she wants
to do,
> > > how she does things, what she cares about.
> > > Do you want to change, do you want her to change, or to become more
> > > like each other?
> > >
> > > Maybe you don't really want her, maybe you just think that you want
> > > her since she is different, you may feel that she "completes you"
> > > because she is what you are not.
> > > (for some reason this reminds me of Shel Silverstein's Missing
Piece,
> > > which reminds me of The Big O, which reminds me of Roger Smith,
which
> > > reminds me of Dorothy, which reminds me that I want to go home but I
> > > have to stop and get some new shoes before I do - but now I am
> > > starting to ramble so I will stop now. Not this message, just the
> > > rambling.)
> > >
> > > "Stonn, she is yours. After a time, you may find having is not so
> > > pleasing a thing after all as wanting. It is not logical -- but
it is
> > > often true."
> > > --Spock - Amok Time
> > >
> > > Or maybe it was just a Slow Tuesday Night (Basil Bagelbaker).
> > >
> > > Of course this is all just my opinion, I could be wrong.
> > > You are welcome to express yours.
> > >
> > > Right now, I bored.
> > >
> > > My Sig
> > > http://www.danasoft.com/sig/45042.jpg
> > >
> >
>

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